My frog..is "Well" "not Well" ?

Em in hurry..why am I hooked here? I have a light heart to lift heavy burdens.

You know guys I planned to write about village small girls and the way they learn dance without trainers, and I really have a sad frogs story. Both the things I thought on two different days, early in the morning. And its very common I think a lot of things to add to my blog and hardly I put something out.

Frog love story was ending a lil sad, Village small children learning dance ended with inspiration.

Those frogs out of their beautiful little wells, into rivers or bigger water accumulations are the most unhappy ones. If in a pair of frogs..which were deeply in love, one moving out of well and one staying in the well is painful. I feel humans do transform like this and those little frogs who want to stay still in well's are destined to live there. Anyway I am against this story at times, but this is the truth.

This small children in my village, each from different schools, know different types of dances. Girls who go to town for school learn modern dance steps, while who study in my village itself dances on pretty cool folk songs. That day I just gathered a group of girls, may be for my entertainment and their interest to show me their talents..we all gathered. TO my surprise, Whenever a girl from village school starts dancing, the girl from town school also joins her and they both danced flawless, I could not spot their coordination. The same thing repeated when town girl danced, the village girl joined her with perfect coordination. I couldn't control asking them how they all know all the dances, in spite of being from different schools. They said, after coming back from school, the girl who goes to town to school, teaches what she learnt to other girls in village and in turn she also learn form village girls.

Perfect!

How keen they were in learning! A thought went for few days in my mind. I still love to think their ways of learning. They all are same in heart, village brings you this.

I am proud to belong there.

blank

Blank mind sits in front of a Blank paper
hand is opposite to mind..runs slow
They are not bits and pieces, out of love..
not even sentences out of fear..
they just don't come out of my mind to hand
because I stopped noticing!
In love my hand worked quick..
I never think while writing..
they are lovely words.
do u wanna read them?
people miss things!
girls hide them in their very dairies
I will show u soon,
when the world is Blank!

Pic Courtesy: http://www.flickr.com/photos/jesper_hauge/2986401054/

with pen!

Yeah things are going on well I guess...
Cool job...lovely campus, lot of events, cancer clubs, seminars with prior snacks, enormous roof as soon as we step out of lab to refresh, chit chat, and murmur on mobile. On the same roof under a huge tree with orange flowers is our favorite lunch spot.

I was last night occupied with the thoughts of "background". Not those filmy backgrounds, it is about any individual's background, I mean a proper settled theme. At a certain age every person builds a theme in life, like gets grip on some values to practice in their lifetime, some passion to teach their younger ones which they feel very useful, tough times making them feel worth facing, stop thinking what is hard work really mean, able to recognize kindness, patience and fear in people, and a clear picture of certain distance in future. Just this is called background, which I was thinking and remaining all is falling into places accordingly.

And there I go with a small announcement, very informal but really my new thing I want you all to know.
I have taken a step forth with the thought of writing a Novel. My paper and pen are set.
I am in love with it.

Thanks for all your support for making me think, I can do this. With all your love and wishes moving ahead!

Balancing the mixture :)

With a pinch of time I got during recent days..I find myself engrossed in some orkut scraps..I don't remember that I have a blog and many of my feelings left unsaid, but always wanted to put them in a shape. And now I am at Indian Institute of Sciences, a land of trees, tall trees that I find myself as Lilliput. I am enjoying the feeling of new place, may be it has turned very soon a Lil routine but loving it anyway.

After finishing work..giving a walk slowly in the campus towards bus stop..looking for snakes in those bushes around..its like a evening walk in a park...I started calling the campus as forest.

I observed many things as I moved around everyday..I thought of putting them as secrets for sometime, to explore more. In new places there exists a confusion, whether to employ the ways of previous working or start with brand new ideas. I dunno how I am making it anyways, but the confusion does exist.

Getting into crowded buses, saying "no flu patients today in bus". And a lady with swine flu mask was sleeping in her seat yesterday, I saw her mask is out of the place falling on her neck. And she sleeps..happily in no dreams of swine flu.

People in this place are quite friendly, they have long hair, plaited evenly, with some nice smelling flowers. Young girls with a few chemistry or physics books (Like me they find these subjects tough I guess) and a head phone playing Kannada songs in FM, and conductors scared to touch any lady as they do in high locality going buses, where people are less questioning and busy moving. Here I am sure minimum three hands raises to beat him.

And again in new hostel, with just two more roomies, quite peaceful. I was thinking of some words to describe the feeling of mixture feelings, which I feel now. Whatever it is, I am just balanced, during all these happenings, which was great learning in recent days.

is this forever

Come to my dreams everyday
and I will be very fine all the day
Kindness! Dad when did u teach me this?
you don't answer me
I learnt it that day
My heart sinks when I think of your forehead,
haunting...never felt anything like that..
I touched your hair softly thinking to get any tiny hair fallen
to keep it as your precious last thing to see forever
I got one..hugging it in my hand I walked to funeral..
It is in my little purse along with your phone book and some of your scribbled papers
I never dared to open them after u
You stood once when I was leaving..at one moment I realized you was waiting for my kiss on that cheek
how many I kissed you on that day dad..you might be happiest when I did it to alive you..

Silk- Colorful- a tiny bit of History

My father along with my uncle once planned to start silkworm farming. It was more common those days. I was in my 8 Th standard, I guess. We had a new building in construction stage which was very near to my house where they planned to start Silk farming. I remember my dad calling me and showing those tiny eggs of silk worm..very tiny ones..I wanted to squash them, as they looked like lice egg (nits). Dad was telling they will grow very big if we give them food. From that day onwards, everyday evening after school, I run to that new building and see how much big they have grown. Sometimes when dad used to serve mulberry leaves (food of silk worms), I used to stand beside and ask him, "If you get any mulberry fruits in that leaves, give them to me, don't give to insects". When I go there with my friends..He was asking us to carry round wooden baskets of leaves into silkworm room in pairs. You should have understood one thing.. My show off..about silk worms to all my friends. I show them how they eat, move, slowly..I take them into my hands and show my guts :)..In school my stories followed everyday, till my dad took them to Bangalore to sell them. I remember they were worried about improper cocoon formation..Before dad took them, I took a small cocoon and placed it in a match box, I thought butterfly will come out of it.

I suddenly remembered all those today. I was traveling from my friends place to office, I have to cross a junction, which is named as " Silk Board" which is given after "Central Silk Board" located nearby.

That was in my Masters, when I got randomly chosen seminar topic on, "Advantages of Biotechnology in Sericulture", those silkworms came again into big picture.

I was fascinated to hear the history of silkworms..I controlled myself telling about the story while seminar as it is something to say in gene level..But I, at last told the story. Because I wanted to say.

You know silk is first discovered by Chinese people and secretly maintained for 2000 years. Many stories came out those days, that silk is made of leaves, soil layers, some plants...Its discovery was made a nice story.

One fine morning Chinese king came back form hunting and shouted in the palace, "My dear Princess! I want some refreshing drink". Those days tea is brewed under trees in palace garden. Queen was standing there while tea was made. Suddenly! In the vessel of boiling water, they saw glittering threads. Queen asked to take them out and observed its shiny nature. She was fascinated by that new thing. They came to know about the cocoons on the tree. She started sticking that shiny thread on her gowns. Then slowly they found more cocoons, and very soon they made silk gowns, veils, so on..And then rules came out in China. Any Chinese speak anything about silk is sentenced to death. It was symbol of royalty.
Once, a person from Japan came to China and stole a few maids who know about silk, few cocoons and plants where they grow. After that Japanese started producing silk too.

I find it interesting. All of them enjoyed listening to it.

We then speak about genetic engineering, and how silkworm genes are modified to produce more thick, fat cocoons. And I came to know, they started using the strongest silk produced using Biotechnology techniques in making Parachutes..

Silkworms have made me remember those colorful days!

Love Again

I am flying with my thoughts. Someone caught me and said why do you rush, we can sit and talk.
Feels better ha..
A long talk on phone with my friend..I am happy she calls me so frequently after I left my hostel. She miss talking to me. I am a big chatter box!

I again would like to speak today about “Falling in Love again and again”, which I spoken in my first post of this Blog.

Its quite normal and we all react in different ways. Especially girls pull this matter a lil too long and boys.. they limit the discussion. May be you can say me wrong , its my assumption.

Some of them think it as a big mistake, but I believe, it is as normal as we use our bathroom everyday.

If you agree that you don't suppress your love anytime, then you will surely agree you have fallen in love again and I do say you will fall in love again and again!

I feel we need to be open and let everyone choose their soul mates.

Under this sky, let me call it an Umbrella, I love the space that is left for a person, to share the rain and hot summer.

I love to listen those innocent buddies proudly arise and say “I am in Love again, Accept it!”

Love, Leadership , Entrepreneurship!
Last night I knew there is no definition to mean them. They are just there..as words and we do use them often, as they sound to be ultimate expressions..

how complex works ...

I had a stressful day. Still I do feel so.
Its about a Recommendation Letter.
I do not know how to ask someone to write good or whatever about me, or at least write about me. If a friend, Its different thing..I saw many friends asking each other to write testimonials..but its not quite OK to ask someone very elder than you, even though how close the relationship is, for a reference or recommendation letter..Mom never taught me this. I will not teach my children too. For me it is wrong.
Some rules, may be values which are inbuilt does all this.
But they doesn't work today.
Some tension covered my day. I struggled to do this. I want to relax and never think about this after today. I know it is not gonna end very soon , being in a research field, I have to get used to this..to move from one scientist to another, where my interest lies..or where the opportunity is.

I don't understand how people turn very complex quickly, its like going through many painful situations and coming to complex behavior. I mean to say its tough for me going through all these..I don't know how everyone learn things. May be I don't want to learn.

And I know it is boys who can teach girls to face hard situations. They actually teaches them softly. Boys teaches girls!

Daddy

I am always trying to communicate with you dad, I hope you can hear me.
As much as I think you in my whole mind, that much close you are, I can feel it dad..
My life is not the same as u saw
I dont beleive in souls, but a huge part of mine went along with you
How huge is known when I swim with our family, without knowing how to swim..
Your smile is shaking my nerves
I recollect every single moment, every day, my memory die for doing this..
Without any warning, any clue,any last kiss you suddenly asleep under that mud which I had seen first time
A recurring nightmare Dad, where to hide this..

Bi-Cycle-Adventurous vehicle

I had a problem of pocket money during summer holidays. If it is school, my pocket fills with dad's 10 rupees note..which he asks me to share along with sister, Mom's 2 or 3 rupees and never I had something saved in school bag, I don't need to save..I used get everyday my pocket full.

That is in summer my real problem starts..in the afternoon...Sometimes when I ask money to mom..for my bi-cycle rent(2 rupees per hour for small cycle) ..she sends me to ask grandma.
Its tough you know, to get money from granny's..my granny has a wheat, rice , chilly powder flouring mill..and I enter there, at the door entrance I sneeze loudly with all those hot chilly flavor passing in my nose..then I go stand beside her..for a long time..just looking at her..I want her to ask me , what I wanted..she never asks me..then I will call her "Jeji..rendrupayalisthava?.. panundi"( Granny..will u give me 2 rupees? I have some work)..as usual she says she don't have money..then I will show her money bag which she hides in her Saree edge and asks again to give...she won't...I take the stick form her hand with which she removes the stuck wheat powder in the mill and do the same work as she does..TO IMPRESS HER :P ...After every 2 minutes I will remind her about my 2 rupees..

I run to the cycle shop..with proud smile of earning 2 rupees..

With Cycle in hand..I go to the friends...we all go on cycle ride to the far fields crossing bus roads, bullock cart ways, and a small underground passage of a water dam.. holding cycle up on shoulders..and there we are to collect regi pandlu (pandlu means fruits), mulberry pandlu..and anything to eat, play..We find the big regi trees which are adjacent to hollow wells..and all of us come to one side of tree and pick the stones..start throwing on the tree..after 10 or 12 stones, one by one.. fruits start falling down..we all shout, "now stop throwing the stones", "One nice fruit fallen down", "That corner one near that big stone is mine, I am telling you all first only", "I am going down of tree, stop throwing stones", "Heyyy you don't shake the tree, the stones struck on the tree will suddenly fall"....its adventures for me...mom doesn't know what we all do here..no one tells at home..we finish eating of fruits before going home..on the roads..sometimes we stop at a place and clear good ones and keep it for mom or some one who praises us for bringing them..I remember I was so good at taking good fruits from my sister and some boys too:P ..they were sweet at giving!

Same Or Not Same??

If we are more liberal, more weird are our relationships- Sigmund Freud. I know about him Yesterday.
I got it, I know many examples to make me convince this. But today I know the reason, than knowing examples..i.e, “Liberal”.

Sticking and letting ..A fight of my age.
I stick today..I suppose..try to stick..
It is not independent to be..to be liberal..which is quite fine when I don't bother anyone. But when I know my purpose, I stand there to complete them ..then I don think of being liberal.
Now my question is, when does a Man thinks or wants to be Liberal?

Right n wrong,
logical n illogical,
sense n doesn't make sense,
practical n not being practical..

Distinguishing these few things was something I learned from an year.
But being liberal n ____ ??? I don't know. I thought being liberal is something which will never stops..
We fight to protect our independent nature..away from restrictions..but I wonder, Independent and Liberal are same.

World Plays-On LOVE!

Nothing more surprising that a boy is following a girl. And we also come across a girl who is behind a boy.

Let us come to something different. Boy and girl are in love. They were not normal..

Before moving more, Shall we name them, to make our story a nice tale..

For boy let me choose a name from my school days English text
book..hmm..Jack..nooo..Henry...hm..na..hey "Pip"..how is it???
OK gal now..No more guessing..I will name her "allie"..she is a major character in "Notebook"..a novel/film...a happy girl and a happy woman..

Yes we move to the story..

He is tying the shoe lace..
Allie stays very close by to his place, they both stay in the same acre of land (in farm words)..
Pip moved out of his house, with a book in hand..walking on the road..a left turn and then a straight road...
HE SAW HER!
Allie..walking in a pink dress with a cover in her hand..in her own world..never know he is behind somewhere..

Pip didn't try to give her a call nor shouted to stop..he messaged..

"I saw an angel walking in pink dress".

Allie saw it a little late. Never replied back..She blushed...

It was not "A day", but "Everyday"...She sees at that left turn in a day ..till her eye needs him.

Never he appeared..and allie thinks Pip is lucky to see her that day..and she is not..

Almost a month past..in that same acre of land..they live..they never met..she waited distracting all the views in her life..to see only him...

Pip loves her.

They both know a language. Always they meet they move their language to miles ahead..when they don't meet their language puts them stable!

They, in this world for each other..Wait!.... World plays..months, years..these are stupid.

Part closed!

Back to Archive!

It was yesterday..I again came back to college life ..into a hostel.

10 years of hostel life. Not a silly thing to leave. A lot of people, lot of learning, now a lot of teaching at times..

My room accommodates 3 people. 1 is yet to come. Last night, I woke up suddenly around 4 o clock, and saw a tree in front of my room, it just came to my mind, I am in new place. I don't see any tree in my previous place..not even think what I see. It is all new from morning to night ..

Hostel is like a collection. My point of collection mean very simple. It includes armful of fiction, non-fiction novels, true stories happened, in present generation..some pen drives jump form room to room to share that romantic movie..bucket full of gossips (even if water is not available), snacks bought from hometowns...

In girls hostel (especially in colleges) the most exciting thing will be, running to be first in every place, from bathroom to bed..a competitive air everywhere..I realized, I never said, “its boring, to sit simply” during college. Time runs rather than flows..

I can say people in love will miss some kind of hostel life by sticking to their very cell phones. Singles always have more to do here.

A transition from college to office and then again from office to hostel made me mature. Now its fine whoever my roommate is, I am excited to share my room with new people, starting with new adjustments..I don't always want to be cheered up anywhere but when I'm feeling stupid, I sometimes like to have someone lighten me up a little. I am far from the feelings of self-hatred and shame, feelings like guilty when I disappoint people, hurt when someone misunderstands me, expecting too much from myself and life, fearing being abandoned. So ..it is just easy to be anywhere. At this point, it's nice to remember the strength of a few long-gone friendships. And It's time to release these things and make space for new people, new ideas, new possibilities.

At night “Little Rascals” ..movie..made my sleep start with happy face. Movie full of small kids. A small boy ALFA ALFA in love with a little girl..a comedy movie. Children does comedy roles naturally. Before bed, I was wondering what if my little son in future comes and says “ Mom! I am in love with a girl”. You know I will hug him and kiss for saying so sweet thing...may be I will be proud of him.

Yes! I forgot to say about Library. Common guys.. I am not gonna say about kind of books...but about weight of books. We were asked to help in arranging the Library. We unpacked the boxes of books and arranged in Library. Very fat books, Very very fat books..left my fingers with cramps..but I could never really touched so many books otherwise..I was watching at the cover pages, while arranging some journals into racks...Once it occurred, I should read all these books. It is fat idea you know..for a person like me who is a free reader rather than a research reader...But exploring library is not yet adulterated for me..it is a great pleasure to gather information.

Open to know about my likes....in this new place and expand my love for writing!

a lil future for fun :)

I touched my hair around 100 times from morning..and was admiring people who create shampoos..they kill my hair with chemicals..but still I use them for the feel they give..even while writing this ..I touched my hair twice..Suddenly I remembered..once I read in a book about describing personalities.. in that they say...people who touch their hair repeatedly feels themselves as very beautiful in looks...I stop my hand for a minute. But...you know..it is wrong....it is shampoo...nothing else makes u touch the hair. If dove people reads this..they will arrest me...for copying their famous ad... :)..

After a movie is released, they sometimes show us making of the movie, removed songs from the movies, removed dialogues, scenes..etc..Yesterday in TV... I saw an ad of a new movie "Pyaar Impossible" , which is still in making stage...and they have a website created, to show their making...amazing idea of course!..but I was wondering in future what more amazing things will come up...may be " a website where u can be a scene chooser of a movie, and include your selected scenes from a list of scenes in the movie and buy the CD" , " a website where u can change any of your favorite hero and heroine in the present hero, heroine's place..may be not respectively also..(wink wink) and watch the movie" ..anything may happen. That day I will watch all devil movies keeping my favorite actresses..WOW!! how nice to watch Arundathi( a Telugu devil movie) with Julia Roberts as Actress..

Its free here..to write anything and everything..Yes! this blogs are pretty free for all of us....

They dig n dig the soil..and explore those computers and struggle for years to know what it is... and come out reading a page like this..they will know we had some thing called shampoo, TV, Movie, Heroine, Devil, CD, wink wink etc.......hey I am speaking about our future...like how we dig for ancient sculptures, our future digging for our information in these blogs...

fun!!

lovely breezes...

Oh, the comfort - the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person - having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all right out, just as they are, chaff and grain together; certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and then with the breath of kindness blow the rest away. ~Dinah Craik

I love these words.

My opened dairy has these words..written in my college days. Below which I have written.."I donno which is faithful hand".

Years past quickly...I learnt that I do have a faithful hand...

Reasons to get married are simple in this world. I was looking for complex... I guess.

At 23 feeling breezes alone is not painful.....as I know its gonna end.

.................................................

A New Experience awaiting..

I am leaving my sweet hostel and moving to an Isolated IBAB new campus, gonna miss my roommates, reliance fresh, Bus stop where I have regular faces with confused smile, lengthy traffic jams which a hundreds times made me feel "get down and run from the bus, or else you will never reach office"..and when the driver is not having the spirit of competing with the traffic..I call him Lazy Bug..and often thinks, before getting down the busy, I should tell him," this is the worst driving I have ever seen"..I lose my temper in this buses..but I never express it..I convince with the fact that many feels the same..But now in the new place, I am gonna stay few feet away from office..I will walk..I will reach in minutes...Now I will miss the Buses, my time pass in buses...watching so many dresses, straight noses, hair styles, hand bags, listening funny gossip, peeping into books people read (just curious what is making them read while standing in the sweating crowd of bus)...my happiness when I see someone I know in the bus....

My evening walk with roommates to a chai shop..before reaching to hold
a cup of tea, we catch a plate panipuri..and then turn to tea..and there
we start our gossip..for hours n hours.." please can I call you later,
we are speaking actually"..our usual response to avoid people from
disturbing us...I can imagine a lil of my life after marriage..with
my neighbours.

Bangalore is very soothing experience for me..yesterday just before it
was going to rain..I took a walk on the roads.. two streets away from
my hostel..I feel the weather as it is, as it want me to. I was looking
at the houses and thinking ..why don't people come out at this time
and enjoy what nature is giving to us..

I changed many places in this four years at Bangalore, each one was a
very different experience..but I never missed this much while leaving
any place...I think it is about people what makes us like something...

Realize- nonsense

I realize,

I am not talented but I am enthusiastic.

Being a village gal, I enjoy giving a walk on the civilized roads.

My mom a coffee addict. I follow.

A touch will bring back ___ years past to present..a year is not a big deal!

I like the part of analyzing the difference..in life it sucks, in job ..my work made simple..

Core of me..has strong belief on Indian marriage system..I was crazy about western culture ..until I realize this..

Regular gossip has established ..as part of a women life.

We can watch romantic movies in bulk suddenly..know how?? One of my roomie is newly in love- we benefit seeing romantic movie very often, of his choice.

I never know I love my Nose so much until I got a kitten bite on it.:))

Job-Chappal Story

We see somethings real..A young girl walked out of a huge building without chappal.She went there to attend an interview. She used to work for a small firm and all her aims and goals bought her into that huge building. She walked out without chappal after interview and when the gate keeper asked her, what happened to your chappal..she said with lots of excitement, " I got Job, My chappal broke after it..it doesn't matter much for me, I am in happiness of Job, I will walk home like this" ..She travelled two hours in bus and came to my room, in fact she is my roommate. She was a graduate who dreams of solving all the problems of relatives not only parents. I was inspired by her Job-chappal story.

I am no more called Village granny

Village girls..u should know something about them..those innocent buds. Even I was one at one point of time.. I am glad if people considers me still so..anyways now when I meet any girl, any middle aged woman, any old woman..I find them with tender hearts. U don see those harsh things that easily ..we guys manage in cities..They do the best in their life. For me it pains that I am no more going to belong to that Village girl or woman or granny...I am not gonna be those lucky mother who gives 5 paise to her daughter, for allowing her to kill a head louse on her head.. I charged a lot for my mom for doing this..almost used to end up taking 5 rupees once she cleans my head...It would be a surprise for me to be kicked out of this life and thrown in that tiny spot of my village in map..I am struck here in between "don stop anywhere" and "stop it's nowhere"..A two day visit to my home only makes me realize what I miss in my life.. I doubt if I think living is some thing to say like..."I used to live once upon a time"...

Not yet Anchored ME..

Did you ever write something when you are angry, irritated ? The words come out sharply as the way you are, much true and unstoppable..I am in one such condition while writing this..things won't work all the time of one's wish..... in spite of being known this..a graph is plotted showing peak levels of irritation in mind..my energy to be neutral at this moment is hibernating in some cells..At least for tomorrow I hope them to bring my normal behavior back.. I want to see my Happy tom morrow..
In case someone is wondering where is all this going - it is not really going anywhere. It will not get anywhere anytime, which is pretty much how one's life is at the moment.
A cup of coffee will make much difference to come out of that circled trap..and start at that string where it is closed..at least at the end to restart..
And in fact there is no END.