Friday, August 5, 2022

3 years old Arjun

 Na chinni arjun birthday eroju

Rathri 12.55am ayindi

Arjun na pakkane Ala padukunadu 

Baga pedhayaka college lo friends tho, inka pedhayaka partners tho inka pedhayaka thana kids tho celebrate cheskuntadu thana birthday 

Last two hours ga thana chinapati 1yr and 2yr old time lo videos choosanu.. yentha mudhuga unado…

Ninna couldn’t complete the post..

Eroju vadi actual birthday 

Actual ga Vadu puttina roju antha blurry ga unnindi 

Indhake mall ki theskella vadi cake pick cheskoni vacha 

He was so excited

Cake paina trains unnayi almost jump chesi melikalu thirigadu

Vadiki cable car lo vellali ani undi .. chodham eroju thesukellagalamo

Nanna tho kalisi balloons udhadhu

Cousins antha call chesthu unaru 

School lo ninna birthday celebrations chesaru shy or fear teledu chala quiet ga unadu

I wish there are no schools for children

Saturday, March 19, 2022

2.6 years and some new changes

 I did cold turkey method and stopped breastfeeding this week precisely on 16 Mar 2022. Two years and 6 months of breastfeeding journey is the most heartfelt experience. Being close to Arjun is such a gift in my life. I felt this is a major milestone for him. He took it so well, asked couple of times but never forced or cried asking for milk. He just behaved like he understood everything when I explained and didn’t bother me after that. I on the other hand can’t sleep a bit since three nights. Maybe it is the rage of hormones with sudden stop of  feeding or full of surprise on how Arjun took this whole new change. I miss his hugs and cuddles a lot. He still gives them but while feeding we bond so close. I enjoy the confidence that I can put him to sleep easily and he is so calm.

We are going to india the coming week after 2.3 years.. it’s weird I wasn’t excited at all to go. With Suri babai gone I didn’t feel much to look forward. Strangely last few days feel different, I am excited. 

A lot going on at work.. more like new people, different work but even that came through the mind while lay down awake wat night looking at little one sleep. 

I am planning a trip to Madurai with my best friend during this india trip.. not sure if it will all happen but if it does it is something so exciting to look forward to.

We made more friends in last 6 months than we made in last 3yrs in Singapore. I enjoy all the chit chat with women now. Baby entering in life has made me realise how I crave to share all the baby life and stuff with other mothers. 

Arjun loves reading books. Now he is at that age where he reads books himself.. I mean not literally but he knows the story and he turns pages and keeps telling the story to the book itself. Peppa pig stories are his favorite and he always takes side of George pig.. he says George want this and that and peppa is not giving so he is sad. Last night I didn’t put him in swing, he told he want to go into the swing and I said it is not working anymore. He simply believed that and didn’t ask after that. This is what surprises me. He trusts me and when you trust someone it is so simple and plain. 

Going to put him to sleep now. 

Sunday, February 6, 2022

One year

 Wow telikundane one year ayindi blog lo rasi

Junnu gadu 2 and half year authadu soon..

Marriage ayyi 8yrs authundi

Time slow gane velthundi

Babu tho every moment bale undi

Mostly vadi hugs kisses and Ah twinkle in the eyes

Nenu paranoid mother yepudu vadi gurinchi worry authu unta

Maybe all mothers are same

Mommy daddy ni almost marchipoya ..atleast yevarina valla gurinchi matladithe emotional avvanu or badhanpinchadu 

Maybe it is the same with everyone who lose people.. time padthundi anthe

Emotional baggage ni vadileyatam logical minds ki easy nemo but emotional people ki time taking and slow

37 years rabothunayi but ippatiki yepudo chinnapati matters gurthucheskoni yedho feel authanu.. yedho just Indhake jarigina incident la.. 

Oka roju ravi cheppadu… I am shocked you cannot forgive yourself for what happened so many years ago ani..

Ha ha .. lopala alanti unforgivable stuff chala unnay ..anni bandh chesthe kotha person aypothanemo.. 

College days lo, new job time lekapovatam life antha athalakutham chesthundi.. ipudu money unte shares lo petti time pass chesthunte… excess money ki value ledu ani telustthundi.. ipudu problems vasthe money solve chesthundi but risk chesthene kada problems vachedi..annitiki achi tuchi vandasarlu alochinci adugu veyatam 30-40 age criteria anukunta..

Anyways yekado inka youth feeling untundi apudapudu.. face paina rendu dark marks vachayi.. aging vallanemo… potta cover chesa battalu most favorites ipudu.. nail paint lu, hair saloon lu, coffee shops, restaurants, food courts ilantivi thapa life lo panikoche pani yemi cheyatledu.. babu tho matrame meaningful time

Madhayalo koddirojulu naku prema kavali .. adhi idhi ani koncham thinking chesa.. tharvatha realise ayya yevarini vallu preminchukunte chalu ani..

Saturday, February 13, 2021

No more hair color

 Somehow this feels like big announcement for myself

I decided to stop colouring my grey hair

I want to embrace my hair the way they are

There are many maybe’s but at the core I am not enjoying the dye usage and am always worried that I am putting junnu through harsh chemicals.. the residue always remain even after many washes.

Good luck to this new look which I always feared and I think am ready to embrace confidently.

Friday, February 5, 2021

Junnu gadiki repu 1 and half year

 Chuttu chala mundhi undevallu ..Parents, cousins, family.. vooru 

Ivanni e life lone na ani anipisthundi apudapudu 

Ipudu nenu, junnu, ravi, helper inka kondaru friends(plan cheskoni kalisthe)

Covid effect yemo e madhya e feeling chala sarlu undi

Pedhagayyekodhi mana tho unde circle Intha chinnaga authundi anukoledu... vidheshalalo undalante idhi pedha compromise

Junnu gadu repatiki one and half year old authadu. Vadu height choosthe ikada andaru 3yrs anukuntunam. Beautiful eyes ani adigithe.. eyes twinkle chesthadu.. oka chilipi smile vasthundi vadi face lo apudapudu.. manchi feeling..yekuva describe cheyalenu..

Junnu pedhayaka telugu chadavatam vasthe maybe enjoy chesthademo na blog... 

Giant wheel lo pothunattu undi life fast ga..  vadu nidraleyatam... kindaku ala theskelli thippatam.. then vadi sleep .. na office work.. Malli lunch time lo vadu thinatam... kindaku ala thippi ravatam.. then intlo aata.. vadi sleep nenu work.. evening lechaka snack thini Chinna hero ready to go to play malli.. esari kinda vediki friends untaru.. usike motham thala pai veskuni adatam favorite.. tharvatha balavanthanga intiki theskochi thala snanam.. dinner and then malli kasepu aata .. bed medha.. konni books chadivesi Ika nidra.. esari nidra chala sepu.. Udayam dhaka.. madhyalo ala ala lesi cute stuff chesthadu.. just indhake borla padukunna vadu lechi na potta pai thala petti padukunadu kasepu..Vadi smooth skin.. and ah baby smell mesmerising .. probably words describe cheyalevu.. 

e life ki vedu chalu 

Sunday, October 18, 2020

Junnu growing up ..14 months

 Junnu is growing up daily

He can put legos on top of the other, he can spot identical animals on the mat, he takes our hand and asks us to repeat whaever we are doing. He shows his tongue out when we do it.. especially he plays with swetha like this. He has maximum attention on phone when swetha is on the call. It is nice how they bond. I dont know how it must be for her to know him from far while growing. And then Junnu enjoys a lot going out... I take him out in the evening to watch buses and cars at the bus stop.. he sits a bit sideways on the strollers and chill out watching passing vehicles.When we go out on brunches sundays.. he blabbers something on his high chair and enjoys his breakfast.. mostly sits beside ravi... its fun to watch them play and eat..Junnu's hair is beautiful.. we never comb them but they still fall in place always after shower. Although he sits well on high chairs in the restaurants.. lately he doesnt like to sit in high chair at home.. it is like two people job.. one hold on top and the other one pull his leg through the high chair leg holes.

We are taking a lot of videos, but I wonder if he can see them while growing up.. what if we lose them somehow.. I hope the google photos exists forever.. 

Today Ravi went to work after 8 months of work from home. It was hard.. for us and more for him. Covid has given us opportunity to spend more time with Arjun. Thankfully I can still work from home.. I cant imagine leaving him and going... atleast until he goes to school at the age of 3. Now he is 14 months and 13 days old....

We have not showed him any kids videos yet.. once i showed him baby shark and he loves it.. but he just behaved like crazy boy bending his head and trying to go inside the phone.. I just realised similar other kids and forced myself to not show again. It is hard, yes it is becuase I know he loves it and not allowing him to do. But maybe it is better if he loves to play with the toys than look into something.. but now when i sing baby shark he gets so excited... he has that memory of one video..

I and Junnu played with water bubbles the other day and he kept touching the bubbles.. I dont now what goes on in his head.. we keep wondering about it.. he loves water..he always tries to put his bath sponge in the mouth and when we fill water in bucket to shower him.. he splashes them until half the bucket is empty.

When I took him to the play area in the apartment..and put him on the slide.. he went in the opposite direction to play.. when I tried to read a book.. I turned pages one after the other and he sometimes turns it in the opposite side...I resisted once to move it one direction.. but then I realised maybe we dont have to read that way.. we are just conditioned to do so.. junnu can read anyway he wants.. A lot of such conditioning is something I am trying to get out.

It is simple, I have him with me, I am alive and I need to learn to enjoy my time in this world. Past future is something there somewhere.. I dont care.

Junnu is my life <3

Friday, September 25, 2020

 How much big should a problem be for a person to be worried big

I dont know

I feel I can worry big even if it is a small problem

For what I went through in life, shouldnt the current life feel like the most blessing

But I still worry big

Self introspection is so hard and to think why we think in certain way and to know why we act certain way is the most complicated inspection

I think someone out there can simplify this for me and just tell me why I am worried and why I shouldnt be

Life really doesnt work that way

All these ten years I had one strong wish to never become weak in life, weak I mean mentally

After mom's death and what I went through during those times that was only wish I had

I fear sometimes if I will go back again through such phase

It is scary, mainly because that phase feels like never ending...and so lost.

If people around you are not enjoying the way you are and you have to change and you bloody dont know how to change, then comes the real problem..

I wish to travel somewhere far and  just feel myself..hug myself out and say I will be alright.

3 years old Arjun

 Na chinni arjun birthday eroju Rathri 12.55am ayindi Arjun na pakkane Ala padukunadu  Baga pedhayaka college lo friends tho, inka pedhayaka...