Thursday, July 9, 2020

Going out is nice

I don’t know if I should call it kind of loneliness or just the times we are in
Staying at home is definitely not my thing
Today I went out with a friend and got hair washed, had lunch in a food court with my favorite ice lemon tea, it was raining outside and I felt soo good.
I bloody miss amazing company of friends in the past but I don’t want to complain.. I am happy I can go out, sit in a restuarant, sip favorite drink and stare at people passing by.
I kind of stopped reading books, listening to music.. after being addicted to them for few weeks or so. Maybe they are just corona lock down things.. once lock down is a bit relaxed I am going out and living life normal.. I really don’t bother now if Ravi gives me enough time or he plays his games... I seem to have my life back....
Junnu is now crawling and I have back ache bending all the time to pick him from pulling wires of tv and laptop. Ravi trimmed his hair with trimmer and he sat quiet all the while except for last few minutes.. he was bored by then. He doesn’t look very different without much hair. He got 6 teeth and two of his front teeth looks exactly like Ravi. I can’t stop wondering how capable is single cell of human is.
I am on one month leave and just chilling at home. Going out at times.. Not going out for a while might have made me talk less interesting stuff with people. It is practice I believe. Meeting more people gives us more interesting things to talk. Now staying at home I talk about junnu and myself.. somewhat about ravi.. nothing much other than that. I still keep wondering if singapore is the place I want to be for few more years.
Oh the other day I went crazy and been to post office.. got lot of envelopes, stamps, printed some pictures from insta and wrote notes in cute cards and posted them to many dear ones in India and US..
Posting letters felt good.
Back then I wrote so many letters to back then boyfriend. He had them saved in a big suitcase. I wonder sometimes what he would have done with it. Anyway I don’t think I can write like that again. I was super creative and so much in love. In love words flow free. I think I wrote this line before... in a post called blank.. patting my back for my memory..
So in the village all the nieces are back from city to avoid virus and are having so much fun. They keep calling me to see junnu and also they want to talk to ravi all the time.. he teases and plays with them and they love it.
I really don’t have interesting things to say.. I sing songs, read books to Junnu most of the day.. I sing an african lullaby “olele olele moliba makasi “.. he comes close to me when I start humming it.. he knows it is sleep time. He jumps on the bed and smiles sometimes...I lose my mind. I cannot believe my mind started to process this much happiness in a day with normalcy. It is overwhelming but I am used to overwhelming amounts of love load. Someone who is sad out there don’t be jealous...and sincerely wish every human on earth to be able to go through this parenting emotion. I even felt the other day if something happens to me.. I am ok.. I feel I am given everything in life and have seen many things so far. It is such a beautiful life.



Super proud

 My little brother is no more little.. He has grown up so big that now he went to a new country to study I feel quite proud of him and also ...