Change is coincidence

If you think that your pure awesomeness can bring change in someone someday, you are wrong. You cannot change any person. If you lost and found someone that is just a coincidence. If you think your manager or some one around is trying to change you or you are trying to change them stop fooling yourself. Its a fools game because it is purely COINCIDENCE. That is not that you changed them or they changed you. It is that they just happened to be around when you were busy thinking you changed them. No one changes themselves to suit your needs or wants. They change because they think it is better for them. And my mind taught one good lesson to myself that is no person in this world want to live this entire life with your problems and issues. Everyone wants to live happily. What I want, what I should be in future, how my needs are changing with time..what I want  what defines me...I have abundant thoughts and idea to keep me happy always. I am master in soothing myself when some absences pains. I want to say woman can get vulnerable at times but should never get weak. Use your eyes on people. Strong always. Never let them weak. Woman do not have to torn their hearts. Don't be in places where there is lot of Drama. Just get out of there. Drama brings stress. And then, practical thoughts are warm coffee effects.

Smart layered woolens, tall leather boots, skinny jeans, pressed pony tail with cute pins, yeah I have been collecting these things for winter over here. Sometimes suddenly I feel blogging has become impersonal to me..no mind paid on others opinions on my writings. Listening to Beyonce 'rather be with you'.

sometimes when I blog something in my blog I dont want people to read. Inner lives are very sacred. I struggle to protect it. There is something in being a person and a person who writes. May be BALANCE.

Bumps..push the thought away!

Red nail paint on my foot nails is making my feet appear fairer. After showing my feet twice to my roommate I tightened the nail polish nozzle.

Yesterday night I took someone and put in some secret place, somewhere inside heart that can’t get hurt. I always faced bump roads by believing that I can see the best in each one I meet and rather seeing the person, I try to see the best. I think I enjoy my optimism more all the time in everything.

I saw some pigeons flying today from office. Everyday same things, some friends, tea, coming alone to a place and trying to forget work for few minutes and once out of office not feeling like going to hostel, walking slowly, talking on phone, this laptop, no book, no other serious thoughts, just sleeping as if world is all at peace and being happy how uncertain things came real…shy…thoughts…days are passing…quickly…without much purpose…with much love than ever…so much sleep...least bothered about future…neither mine nor yours…thinking I am some song someone is singing so melodiously to world…though it frightens me thinking of losing people…but for now I decided to relax…after all that little innocent heart we all got…life was short to me. I am safe now. Yes Optimistic as always!

tooo many I's

I never realized that I love winters. It came to my mind suddenly all the cold weather bought happiness. Here in Delhi, winter just started. I am out all the time trying to not miss a bit of it.
I think winter brings kind of subtle, humble and calm soothing mind in people. Everyone are quiet enjoying or feeling the same cold in their bones and talking as much less as they can and making gestures more often. Friends were all wearing good jackets and I was there with just a t-shirt on. I liked one jacket, so cool one...it was above 3k I guess. May be I will buy it soon.
I saw this sky fall movie...there I found one line...liked it....’I will not leave when you want me to. I will leave when the job is done'. I suddenly remembered my office and thought I should not leave my work half done any day. Bull shit I thought. Too good I...ha ha... will remember lines for much better things...

Back then I remembered my Masters days all of a sudden and my most smart behavior. Never listening to anyone and always was able to convince any of the classmate or lecturer on anything. I never agreed anyone smarter than me, not even thought so. I was well known for my cool attitude and unshakable breaveness. I feel head to toe proud feling when I think of the way I used to walk from third floor of the class to down floor with bouncing loose hair, knowing that my seniors and classmates all are down standing...watching..And don't even let me remember me more, I have billion stories. Ha...so cute to remember them. And when it is cold, I always liked drawing some pathways of biochemistry and some flagella structures drinking tea in the world's smallest glass. I keep a day or two for practicing drawing and did them religiously two days, after which I ask my roommates to ask me any diagram in the whole text book and I used to draw them on board without seeing, with the parts of the diagrams. Many times my observation skills surprised myself but later I realize sometimes, except I should be in some intelligence offices, otherwise that is not some skill set used for the job I currently do. Never mind!

I am so waiting for next week this time to be with my sister and it was surely long 7 months and first time in my life I have not seen her this long. It is surely a great feeling to be sister to someone whom you have kept your life as an open book. We will keep you proud mom.
When you know bundles of happiness are on the way, coming next week...so many butterflies comes to stomach. Its sooooo nice feeling...