How much I know myself
I am a sucker for nice smells... I am damn particular about my shower gels, shampoo and perfume.
I keep changing shower gels and shampoos but perfume it is rare I like something.. I have two favorites 1. Lacoste femme and 2. Bodyshop white musk
I love travelling and I love researching airbnbs
I also like floral stuff.. especially clothes in floral..
I love kids doll dresses..sounds a bit weird but I follow many doll dress designers in insta..some day I want to have a collection of those and also show them to little girls who visit our house as my collection
I love flowers...lillies are my favorites..not indian tuberose but actual pink or white broad petal lillies..they smell divine.. I also think I should decorate flowers and take classes. Once when I took classes I got so bored I mean felt the whole thing so slow.. I want a flower garden in backyard though.
i also think I might be an architect in future..sounds weird right ...but I have this thing in mind for almost 4years now and I love watching certain designs especially those sustainable and basic designs which trigger sense of calmness. i probably think I should join an internship somewhere and see if this is really my area of interest... but then two years ago ravi constructed a house in our village and I have given zero inputs into it.. so yeah I am not sure of this architect them.. probably I might b someone who admires these things
Coming to food..list is not too long but I do have favorites...gongura is the first in the list. I recently realised I love cowpeas..red and black eyed peas, avacadoes, red rice pudding, sesame balls, mango dal, mango instant chutney, tamarind leaf dal, pachimirakkaya pachadi our village style, gutti vankaya.. ice lemon tea.
I think I am simple person and have no expectations from others.. but that is so wrong. I have a lot of expectations and I impose on people even without my understanding..back of mind I keep realising that
My behaviour changes depending on the person I am dealing with..over the years I learnt and realised some people really trigger wrong side of me and I sincerely make effort to avoid them and it had worked out fantastically.
I over promise most of the time, it is just genetic maybe.. I recall my dad doing somewhat like that...people loved him though...anyway I struggle to keep up the promises..both at work and friends/family.
I can save like crazy but at the same time I can spend like hell... so I need to watch out money carefully, plan ahead every month and stick to certain amount of expenses. I still keep missing the agreed amount to myself but I try a lot. Quite stressful and irritating to control this when you know you have something and you dont want to use that money to indulge..
it is sick but I check currency conversion and bank accounts everyday..such middle class habit..but makes me proud always...but sometimes I know nothing changes everyday until my payday but stupid to just check everyday
One thing I do sincerely is genuinely care about cousins.. most of the time I go beyond notmal helpful steps..have been doing this for couple of years now and somehow think back in my mind they will miss me in the absence of this..maybe not
I like pavan kalyan..still always likes his pictures when I see them online.
I always go late to work it..i changed jobs but this hasnt changed. I dont like it myself but I am learning to make peace with it..
My childhood wasnt rosy..my parents had crazy life...involving so many events that all the normal city based people wouldnt understand.. I don’t generally care to explain to most of them
There are scars if I look back but then I dont look back much
I had a few boyfriends before meeting ravi.. I still think only one of them was serious relationship. Even after breakup I was emotionally dependent on him for many years before my marriage..most of them who were very close to me during his time still strongly believe I never got over it and keep asking me if I remember him.
Yes I do, I also talk to ravi about him... its hard to forget someone who was there for significant part your life and if I say I don’t remember I am cheating myself..and why would I do that. Just sharing incidents as I remember feels nice a bit relief. I also wonder sometimes if I see him suddenly how would I react...maybe we both will look old..and I will definitely say hi and ask how he is been all this while.
I consider myself very lucky as well. This strong, independent, gogetter, traveller, multitasker in me wouldn’t have been possible without Ravi.
Like overpromise, act differently with different people, I also think I say something and do something..mostly change myown instruction. For example I think something, say it but then I forget it after a while and by then I would think something else. The whole chain would be confusing for others but in my mind I think it is super clear..I realised this sometime back and I am working on it. These kind of knowing myself, my weaknesses and working on it has bought it so much confidence and pleasure of being myself. I am loving this exploration.
I have no clue about this whole parenting thing and am constantly doubting myself if I am doing things right..initially I went crazy and slowly getting better..
I have really a few friends over the years and none I can call whenever I want to
I have weirdest relationship with my sister. We love each other when we are far, she is also my best friend and I rarely hide myself to her. But when we meet we are total contrast.. cant tolerate each other for very long... we just know each other too long and annoy hell out of each other. But then once again we go far.. I regret everything and miss her a lot...I think I am working on thus each time and always fail. Some old habits are really hard...
Anyways I hope I learn to change all those things I hate in me one by one and like myself more with each passing day
If I cant love myself I have no love left for any.
I am a sucker for nice smells... I am damn particular about my shower gels, shampoo and perfume.
I keep changing shower gels and shampoos but perfume it is rare I like something.. I have two favorites 1. Lacoste femme and 2. Bodyshop white musk
I love travelling and I love researching airbnbs
I also like floral stuff.. especially clothes in floral..
I love kids doll dresses..sounds a bit weird but I follow many doll dress designers in insta..some day I want to have a collection of those and also show them to little girls who visit our house as my collection
I love flowers...lillies are my favorites..not indian tuberose but actual pink or white broad petal lillies..they smell divine.. I also think I should decorate flowers and take classes. Once when I took classes I got so bored I mean felt the whole thing so slow.. I want a flower garden in backyard though.
i also think I might be an architect in future..sounds weird right ...but I have this thing in mind for almost 4years now and I love watching certain designs especially those sustainable and basic designs which trigger sense of calmness. i probably think I should join an internship somewhere and see if this is really my area of interest... but then two years ago ravi constructed a house in our village and I have given zero inputs into it.. so yeah I am not sure of this architect them.. probably I might b someone who admires these things
Coming to food..list is not too long but I do have favorites...gongura is the first in the list. I recently realised I love cowpeas..red and black eyed peas, avacadoes, red rice pudding, sesame balls, mango dal, mango instant chutney, tamarind leaf dal, pachimirakkaya pachadi our village style, gutti vankaya.. ice lemon tea.
I think I am simple person and have no expectations from others.. but that is so wrong. I have a lot of expectations and I impose on people even without my understanding..back of mind I keep realising that
My behaviour changes depending on the person I am dealing with..over the years I learnt and realised some people really trigger wrong side of me and I sincerely make effort to avoid them and it had worked out fantastically.
I over promise most of the time, it is just genetic maybe.. I recall my dad doing somewhat like that...people loved him though...anyway I struggle to keep up the promises..both at work and friends/family.
I can save like crazy but at the same time I can spend like hell... so I need to watch out money carefully, plan ahead every month and stick to certain amount of expenses. I still keep missing the agreed amount to myself but I try a lot. Quite stressful and irritating to control this when you know you have something and you dont want to use that money to indulge..
it is sick but I check currency conversion and bank accounts everyday..such middle class habit..but makes me proud always...but sometimes I know nothing changes everyday until my payday but stupid to just check everyday
One thing I do sincerely is genuinely care about cousins.. most of the time I go beyond notmal helpful steps..have been doing this for couple of years now and somehow think back in my mind they will miss me in the absence of this..maybe not
I like pavan kalyan..still always likes his pictures when I see them online.
I always go late to work it..i changed jobs but this hasnt changed. I dont like it myself but I am learning to make peace with it..
My childhood wasnt rosy..my parents had crazy life...involving so many events that all the normal city based people wouldnt understand.. I don’t generally care to explain to most of them
There are scars if I look back but then I dont look back much
I had a few boyfriends before meeting ravi.. I still think only one of them was serious relationship. Even after breakup I was emotionally dependent on him for many years before my marriage..most of them who were very close to me during his time still strongly believe I never got over it and keep asking me if I remember him.
Yes I do, I also talk to ravi about him... its hard to forget someone who was there for significant part your life and if I say I don’t remember I am cheating myself..and why would I do that. Just sharing incidents as I remember feels nice a bit relief. I also wonder sometimes if I see him suddenly how would I react...maybe we both will look old..and I will definitely say hi and ask how he is been all this while.
I consider myself very lucky as well. This strong, independent, gogetter, traveller, multitasker in me wouldn’t have been possible without Ravi.
Like overpromise, act differently with different people, I also think I say something and do something..mostly change myown instruction. For example I think something, say it but then I forget it after a while and by then I would think something else. The whole chain would be confusing for others but in my mind I think it is super clear..I realised this sometime back and I am working on it. These kind of knowing myself, my weaknesses and working on it has bought it so much confidence and pleasure of being myself. I am loving this exploration.
I have no clue about this whole parenting thing and am constantly doubting myself if I am doing things right..initially I went crazy and slowly getting better..
I have really a few friends over the years and none I can call whenever I want to
I have weirdest relationship with my sister. We love each other when we are far, she is also my best friend and I rarely hide myself to her. But when we meet we are total contrast.. cant tolerate each other for very long... we just know each other too long and annoy hell out of each other. But then once again we go far.. I regret everything and miss her a lot...I think I am working on thus each time and always fail. Some old habits are really hard...
Anyways I hope I learn to change all those things I hate in me one by one and like myself more with each passing day
If I cant love myself I have no love left for any.
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