Some days Junnu sleeps early
However I will not get to do much work as he doesnt go into deep sleep so fast
So he wakes up every 10-15 minutes once ensure I am around.. at times try to feed once again and otherwise just silently hold my top or put his leg on my leg and sleep
I have started reading books to kill time while I lie down those few hours until he goes to deep sleep
Most of the day I fall asleep by the time he enters deep sleep but when I am awake I read books
My preference lately is to read Japanese books. I am reading men without women by haruki marukami.. first story was so amazing in the book..you will take a break after each story because there is some thinking to do or it is heavy. Now after reading a few stories I feel some what monotonous although stories are new and engaging till the end.
When Junnu is awake I am so confused. I want to play and entertain him but somehow I feel Inam not doing it right. He dont look so engaged.. he enjoy more watching outside through the window and passing cars and buses.
The other day evening it rained so heavily. He was sitting on his baby cot and watched rain for sometime. It was amazing to watch him that way. I felt something different.. I thought how many rains we both will together right.. and even if I am not alive in future he will watch rain.. rain seem to be constant element and at that moment we both watched through the window and loved the rain.
In the middle of the night I am super sleepy but when I wake up I manage to change his diaper. It is a quick art, you need to put on fresh diaper before he starts to pee which I have no clue when. So I quickly take a wet wipe and wipe him, put on the diaper and put his tiny bedsheet on.
At that time of the night I think about my mother. When we were young (almost until we went to 7th grade) we used to wet the bed (both the sisters) and my mother woke up diligently every day middle of the night, took us to bathroom, remove our clothes, quickly shower and put on new clothes, changed new blankets and then put us back to sleep. And by the time we woke up we would again wet the bed. I cannot believe she did that for so long without complaining, and with so much love.
I dont know if I possess that kind of love.
However I will not get to do much work as he doesnt go into deep sleep so fast
So he wakes up every 10-15 minutes once ensure I am around.. at times try to feed once again and otherwise just silently hold my top or put his leg on my leg and sleep
I have started reading books to kill time while I lie down those few hours until he goes to deep sleep
Most of the day I fall asleep by the time he enters deep sleep but when I am awake I read books
My preference lately is to read Japanese books. I am reading men without women by haruki marukami.. first story was so amazing in the book..you will take a break after each story because there is some thinking to do or it is heavy. Now after reading a few stories I feel some what monotonous although stories are new and engaging till the end.
When Junnu is awake I am so confused. I want to play and entertain him but somehow I feel Inam not doing it right. He dont look so engaged.. he enjoy more watching outside through the window and passing cars and buses.
The other day evening it rained so heavily. He was sitting on his baby cot and watched rain for sometime. It was amazing to watch him that way. I felt something different.. I thought how many rains we both will together right.. and even if I am not alive in future he will watch rain.. rain seem to be constant element and at that moment we both watched through the window and loved the rain.
In the middle of the night I am super sleepy but when I wake up I manage to change his diaper. It is a quick art, you need to put on fresh diaper before he starts to pee which I have no clue when. So I quickly take a wet wipe and wipe him, put on the diaper and put his tiny bedsheet on.
At that time of the night I think about my mother. When we were young (almost until we went to 7th grade) we used to wet the bed (both the sisters) and my mother woke up diligently every day middle of the night, took us to bathroom, remove our clothes, quickly shower and put on new clothes, changed new blankets and then put us back to sleep. And by the time we woke up we would again wet the bed. I cannot believe she did that for so long without complaining, and with so much love.
I dont know if I possess that kind of love.
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